We understand that fact and don’t choose to run from it, and we understand that words cannot make those painful memories disappear. We can only become who we intend to be, and acknowledge to others living amends that those addictive behaviors have no place in our lives from here on out. And when it comes to our family and children, we might be particularly interested in speeding that process along.
Work on your relationships
- There is not one standard way to go about making amends and repairing a connection with someone, especially after years of substance abuse.
- When you make a real effort to change your past behaviors, you need to make the initial move in repairing broken relationships.
- When you feel ready, take time to think about each person and the extent of the damage done.
- Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed.
Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds. Some of these same https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-to-taper-off-alcohol/ things can happen to the other person in the process. They may find resolution and understanding about the past.
How Living Amends Positively Impacts Recovery Outcomes
- When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends.
- While everyone’s path to addiction recovery is different, rebuilding damaged relationships is one of the first goals many people have after they achieve sobriety.
- Each person’s experience of addiction and recovery is unique.
- Although, you’ll have to find a different way to do so and in a way that makes a lasting impact on you and the people you love who are still here.
- The City Council on Tuesday passed changes to retail cannabis regulations pending a comprehensive policy change expected later this year.
Unlike direct and indirect amends, living amends are not aimed at repairing ties with anyone specifically. Living amends is the part of your recovery where you must “walk your talk” by incorporating positive, healthy habits into your new sober lifestyle. These amends affirm your commitment to sobriety and focus on how you’ll become a better person moving forward. A big part of working the 12-Step Program is making amends. Unfortunately, after you get sober, all the hurt and destruction you caused in the wake of your addiction doesn’t just go away.
What Do You Say When Making Amends? – The Step 9 Amends Letter
Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive person in your recovery. When you make amends, the way you look and feel about situations changes. You can gain clarity about what happened and what should have happened. If you’re on the fence about Step 9, remember that making amends can help you and the other person. On the opposite side of the street are those individuals who simply say, “All of my amends would hurt people. I’m just not going to speak to anyone.” Avoid the temptation to get out of this step.
- In particular, the motion removed a subsection of the policy that established a cap of 35 recreational marijuana businesses in Pittsfield.
- But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive.
- That might not be so tricky if the person were still alive.
- It causes us to feel a more profound shame as it pulls us from our humanity and connection — accountability and making amends help us heal the other, which allows us to forgive ourselves.
It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt. Yes, we partake in the process to “clean up our side of the street,” but we do not make amends to clear our conscience or undo our feelings of guilt. If someone does not want to hear from us, we respect that and do our best to move forward with our recoveries.
Commit to living a sober and honest life
